Most kids (and teachers!) like snow days.  It is an unexpected school holiday and a way to have fun at home.  We aren’t as fond of snow days as others.  They are very difficult on children who crave routine and schedule.  It was not at all easy to explain to B why we didn’t go to school in the middle of the week.  He wanted to go out to school, the store, or anywhere, but the roads were too dangerous.  Two days is a really long time to argue with a child about why you can’t go outside, to the grocery store, to day care, or to school.

I suppose I am thankful we don’t live somewhere with lots of winter weather.  The day or two every few years we have here is enough!  And if I never see Rudolph again, it will be all too soon.  I’m quite tired of that DVD, I must admit.

Many individuals with autism have sleep issues. I have met moms who have children that sleep only a few hours each night, or stay up for days on end without sleep. I count myself lucky that B does tend to sleep the typical eight hours a night, for the most part.

Up until recently, if someone asked me if B had sleep issues, I would answer no. I have never thought of him as being a problem sleeper. Recently I was asked if he slept through the night. I surprised myself when I realized I could not recall the last time he had slept through the night. He wakes up every single night, without fail. He is easy to get back to sleep–in fact, most of the time he does not wake me up at all–but he does not sleep through the night.

It never occurred to me until a few weeks ago that this was unusual for a nine year old child. It is just how he is, and it doesn’t cause too many issues, so I never think about it. When his doctors ask me how he sleeps, I always answer that he is a good sleeper. Now I wonder about that. Am I doing him a disservice by overlooking his sleep issues? I think I might have to address this at his next appointment.

As an aside, since he got his new bed , his sleeping has improved, but he still ends up in my bed every night. I would dearly love to break him of this habit. Any suggestions?

One of the characters in the story is an elf that wants to be a dentist.  He solves a problem by pulling the tooth from the abominable snowman, and talks about his passion for dentistry.  He happens to be B’s favorite character in the show, and the one B quotes the most when not actively watching the show.

Yesterday morning B came to me and told me he had a loose tooth.  He absolutely hates having a loose tooth.  He has stood in front of a mirror for hours wiggling his tooth until it came out in the past.  He wanted me to pull it this morning, but I said no, as it was nowhere near loose enough to pull.  We got home and he immediately asked me to pull it again.  I declined again, telling him it wasn’t ready yet.

Ten minutes later he walks up to me and deposits his tooth in my hand.  He is bleeding everywhere and he’s very proud of himself.  He used sheer brute force to remove that tooth!  He then quoted a line from Rudolph about pulling teeth, and I realized why he thought he could just yank it out.  Yikes!

I cleaned him up and he was fine, but it was a quite disturbing visual reminder of how impulsive he can be when he sets his mind to it.  He hates the idea of the tooth fairy, so I just washed the tooth and put it away.  Once that tooth is out of his mouth, he never wants to see it again!

At least he didn’t try to pull a permanent tooth, right?

How do I spend these child-free weekends?  Good question.  I’m afraid the answers are not that exciting.  B cannot stand it when I wash his clothes.  He thinks the washing machine is an instrument of the devil and flips out anytime I place an item of his into the washer.  This means that every two weeks, I do all of his laundry.  I also try to meet up with friends for lunch, dinner, or a movie on occasion.  I run lots of errands as well.  There are several places where it is just not easy to take B, so I try to get those errands run on the weekends without him.  He does not do well in malls, so my mall shopping is now done exclusively on dad weekends.  Oil changes, stores with mass quantities of breakable items, and hair appointments are also done on dad weekends.

Occasionally I sneak in a date here and there, but that’s a topic for another post sometime in the future.

This weekend I have an action-packed set of clothes to wash, and I will take advantage of my built-in alarm clock being gone and sleep in a bit as well.  My life is so exciting, I know you all wish you could live it with me.

American Idol started again last night.  The audition rounds are my least favorite episodes, for many reasons, but I am always particularly bothered by the portrayal of the developmentally disabled adults.  It seems like every season they show a few “bad” auditions that are clearly developmentally disabled adults.  They are typically ridiculed by the judges and are the focus of cruel comments and jokes online as well.

I am torn on this issue.  My son loves this show, and may want to audition some day (if it still exists then).   On the remote chance that he auditions and makes it past the screeners, my parenting instinct is to forbid him and shelter him from the cruelty of the judges’ comments and the ridicule of America.  On the other hand, I would also want to applaud him for going after his dream (however unrealistic it may be) and having the functional behavior skills to make it that far into the process.  I suspect I would try to steer him elsewhere, and if that failed, then beg the producers not to let him through to the judges.

This is one of the things that is different about parenting a child with a developmental disability.  I am certain I will feel the intense need to mother my son well into his adulthood.  Cutting the apron strings is difficult for many parents of typically developing children–I suspect it will be nearly impossible for me to do when or if the time comes.  That delicate balance of independence and guidance has much more serious consequences when your child has the body of a man but the cognition of a child.

I feel a tremendous amount of empathy for the parents of those young adults who end up on American Idol and ridiculed on blogs and message boards until the next thing comes along.  What is the cost of their child’s 15 minutes?  I hope I never find out.

They are willing to provide transportation for no additional fee while I pursue getting a bus provided through the school district.  I signed him up and he starts tomorrow.

Now I just need to figure out how to pay for it!  This place is more than twice as much as his other care providers have been, and is more than my car payment and insurance combined.  I predict a lot of ramen noodles in my future, but he’s worth it!  My parents think so, too, and they are helping out as well.  I am so thankful that my son has a great support network of family.

Wish us luck!

When I met my SIL and B at the door to my school, B was wearing a jacket I’d never seen before.  His coat was in his backpack, and the jacket he was wearing is really nice, but not ours.  My SIL said it was not theirs either, so I decided to call the school.

One of his aides answered the phone in the special education department.  He had insisted the jacket was his at the end of the day, and told them all that “Mommy bought it!”  At least he was communicating, right?

I hope some poor boy isn’t freezing in the morning!

B doesn’t care if he knows someone or not. He will attempt to talk to anyone who strikes his fancy. The problem comes because he insists on being about 3 inches from your face when he talks to you, and will frequently attempt to touch your face at the same time. I am constantly reminding him to quit touching people, but it seems to have no impact.

Today we were at church, and he ran up to a gentleman I know very casually, and he does not know at all. He grabbed this man’s arm and began insisting he repeat the characters in Willie Wonka back to him. Fortunately, this gentleman is friendly and kind and very willingly played along.

After church we went to the grocery store. B ran up to a woman and grabbed her elbows and said something to her. I was following quickly to remind him not to touch people, and did not hear what he said, but the woman screamed. She was clearly quite taken aback by his behavior, and I grabbed him away quickly, apologized, and reminded him again about personal space.

I am at a loss as to how to teach B to respect personal space and quit touching strangers. Nothing I try gets through. I am forever thankful to the lovely employee at Whole Foods who reinforced my message a few months ago by telling him that no, he could not hug her, but thanks for asking. She was the fifth employee he asked for a hug, and the first one who understood what I was trying to do by making him back away and ask.

Any suggestions?

And as an update–he stayed in his bed for most of last night, but not all night.  He has started tonight in his bed, though, so at least that’s something!

Many individuals with autism also have sleep disturbances.  Some don’t require much sleep, and many don’t sleep through the night.  This is tough with young children.  Fortunately, my son doesn’t have much of this.  He likes his sleep, for the  most part, and he sleeps soundly.  He does wake up in the middle of every night, but he usually just comes to my bed and immediately falls back asleep.  I have grown very tired of this, and don’t really want my 9 year old sleeping in my bed at night.

For the last several months, B has developed an aversion to his own bed.  He begs every night to go to sleep in my room, and I typically refuse him.  He then begs to sleep on the couch.  When he comes to get in bed with me, I usually make him leave and give him a choice–he can go to his room or sleep on a pallet on the floor in my room.  He chooses the floor 100% of the time.

Today I challenged the sleep and  change issues all at once.  B got a new bed.  Actually, I got a new bed, and moved my bed to his room.  He will now have a larger bed, and one he is clearly comfortable sleeping in, so I am hopeful it will work.  Instead of being averse to this change, he was very excited!  As soon as I put sheets on the bed and made it up for him at around 7:30, he was ready to try it out.

For the first time in at least six months, my child is sleeping in his bed.  Let’s hope he stays there all night!

B does not have near enough lead time for Christmas.  He needs a lot longer than a month to get excited about it, I suppose.  This week he is very excited because “Santa is coming!”  It does not matter how many times I explain that Santa already came, and I show him the gifts Santa brought and the pictures we took that day.  He continues to insist that “Santa is coming!  Santa is bringing presents!”

This happens every year.  He helps me decorate the tree, he unwraps gifts as fast as I can wrap them (I do all my wrapping on Christmas Eve after he is in bed now), and he is completely disinterested in the general festivities on Christmas morning.  I have to force him to open presents that day, and the opening of gifts is an all day affair.

I still don’t understand why he is so eager to open presents on December 1-24, but on December 25 he just cannot be bothered at all.  He lives to challenge my expectations!  This used to be a source of tremendous frustration for me, but once I realized it was a pattern, I decided to just go with it and relax.

Since about December 30, he has been watching Rudolph on DVD and talking about Christmas.  The tree is down, the decorations are gone, and the gifts are half-forgotten in his toybox, but he is finally excited about the holiday!

I think I need to get his internal clock adjusted.  It’s off by a few weeks.  It’s either that or put up my Christmas tree right after Halloween so he is ready for Christmas sometime near the actual day.

Now I am trying to decide when I can hide the Rudolph DVD without causing trauma.  I might go crazy if we are still singing “Silver and Gold” in July.